


Kingdoms

by vanillafluffy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, IKEA, No spoilers for Avengers Infinity War, Not Avengers Infinity War Compliant, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Spoilers for Thor Ragnarok, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 02:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: After Ragnarok, Thor and Loki find new careers, according to their own characters.





	Kingdoms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reeby10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/gifts).



Part One: Thor

It turns out that Thor’s leadership skills translate well into management skills. Thanks to an individual he meets while helping the other Asgardians get settled in on Midgard, Thor becomes manager of an IKEA. His outgoing personality charms his customers; he speaks with persuasive ease about products like the Melltorp and Norraker (tables), or the Janinge and Leifarne (chairs). When he asks, “Hast thou a very large hall to fill?”, it can be overlooked as an ESL matter because he is so clearly interested in his customer’s needs. 

His employees are as loyal to him as his warriors once were. They’ll do their utmost for his whole-hearted approval. Now, instead of swordfights, the skirmishes he instigates are a practical sort: Seeing which team can assemble a bookcase first (they stage demonstrations to show the public how easy it is), or who (after hours, to avoid disrupting the store) can complete an order of assorted products in the shortest time. Prizes vary from theater tickets (off-off Broadway) to lunch with Captain America. Competition is fierce.

From time to time, a gentleman drops in, usually parking himself amid furniture displays with a newspaper or his tablet. Long-term employees know he’s the boss’s brother, Loki, and they caution the newer crew that orders are to leave him alone and let Thor know he’s there. Usually this means Thor will take him to lunch at the restaurant; they’ll have smoked salmon sandwiches and sigh that they’re good, but not a patch on Mother’s gravlax…. The staff isn’t aware that it’s Loki who perpetrated a trick that’s gone down in IKEA history: He secretly changed one item on the list of Thor’s latest scavenger hunt, and the crew searched fruitlessly for quite a while before someone handed their chief a copy of the list, asking if number four was a typo. Thor grimaced saying everyone would get credit. A curious clerk looked up the item online later and discovered that they spent thirty-five minutes turning the store upside down hunting for an aardvark.

It’s not widely known among his employees that Thor moonlights as an Avenger--or perhaps it’s the other way around--but they’re surprised by how many superheroes pop in looking for a coffee table or a teapot. As long as no one brews up trouble, everyone’s welcome. Thor knows even supervillains sometimes need bookcases. His philosophy is working; he has the most successful store in North America. Thor is pleased. It’s a small kingdom, but his own.

\--------------------------------

Part Two: Loki

The Regency Theater is off-off-Broadway and began life as a vaudeville house just over a century ago. It’s holding auditions for an upcoming production of a play he’s never heard of. The front door is open, allowing Loki to wander in. There’s a crowd in the auditorium, but the rest of the building is still. With no one to stop him, he goes exploring. Upstairs, the balcony offers a view of a space that must have been grand in days gone by. 

The stage floor needs to be sanded and given a coat of glossy black paint, and the curtains, partially pulled back, are dismally faded and should be replaced. The carpet throughout is grimy and threadbare, the ornate plaster medallions, once gilded, have been painted over with drab blue-grey paint. It smells as moldy as if it hasn’t been aired out in decades, and yet posters line the walls announcing previous productions, so it’s been operating--just not successfully. He makes his way up another flight of stairs, one not open to the general public, up to the little room under the roof from which the lights and soundboard are controlled. Here there’s less a smell of mold and more a pervasive dustiness--he sneezes several times--and although he’s no expert, Loki can tell that the equipment is as old and tired as the rest of the Regency, and really, wires wrapped with tape like that are a fire hazard, surely?

There’s another way down, a long staircase leading from the control room to backstage, where Loki finds the usual dressing rooms, a prop room, and a janitor, who’s willing to talk before herding the sightseer back to the audition where he “belongs”. This is probably going to be the Regency’s last production, he confides gloomily. The corporation that owns the Regency is looking to sell the building; there’s a coffee chain interested in it. There’s a coffee shop every fifty feet as it is, can’t they leave the Regency alone?

Loki remains inscrutible, but in fact, he violently disagrees. Leave the Regency alone? That’s the problem--it’s been left alone for far too long! It needs to be lovingly cleaned and brought back to its glory days, not allowed to moulder further.

There’s only one thing to do, and Loki does it. He visits a billionaire of his acquaintance, and lays out his plans for the distressed theater. He speaks passionately of this wonderful place that hasn’t been cared for, this splendid little gem that is in danger of ceasing to exist, and Tony Stark, who's heard of the destruction of magnificent Asgard from Thor, is quick to acquire the theater for him. When the others ask Stark why he would spend seven figures on Loki’s behalf, he shrugs. If it keeps Loki from being bored, it’s cheap at twice the price.

The Regency does surprisingly well under its new management. Although it takes time and effort to banish the shabbiness, its renaissance begins almost at once. Most people think it’s because the new owner is more hands-on than the indifferent corporation that previously owned it, but that isn’t precisely true. Yes, he’s there daily, chivvying workmen as they polish and paint and install new fittings, but money and a face-lift alone isn’t enough. The Regency is, after all, off-off-Broadway, and not well-known--but Loki sees to it that there’s a glamour laid upon the playbills that go up all over town before a new production, making people want to see the show. He casts an enchantment upon the stage and the seats so the audience will literally be spellbound. Almost none of them notice the subtle fragrance of rosemary, but they’ll remember this experience--word of mouth is so helpful! (Celebrity endorsement doesn’t hurt, either: his brother and other members of the Avengers are often seen in the audience.) Backstage, the cooler of lemon-water he’s thoughtfully provided for the cast is given a cantrip that ensures no one forgets their lines or literally breaks a leg. He thinks of everything, and the old playhouse thrives once again. The word most often used by patrons describing their theater-going experience is _magical_. Loki can’t remember ever being so contented before; it’s very satisfying to have an outlet for his flair for the dramatic.

.


End file.
